Tips for Interacting with Disaster Survivors

From the Lutheran Disaster Response Website: www.ldr.org/volunteer/spiritual care.html.

Lutheran Disaster Response is a broadly spiritual ministry. Your work as a volunteer brings hope and comfort and healing to those in need. Jesus reminds us that whatsoever we do for those in need, we do it for Him.

As a volunter, you will encounter some situations where you will be providing pastoral and spiritual care to others. Some people wonder, "Isn't pastoral or spiritual care something that only a pastor should do?" In fact, all Christians do real ministry and provide a pastoral presence when they serve in Jesus' name. Jesus said, "Where are two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them."

Acts of service like cleaning and removing debris are forms of spiritual care because they bring hope to a task that previously seemed insurmountable. As well, encouraging words and a supportive presence nurture the souls of those grieving loss. Some volunteers initially feel uncomfortable providing this kind of ministry. Provided are some basic information for volunteers to help you feel more comfortable in these situations.

Some helpful things to say:

• “I am so very sorry.”
• “My heart is with you.”
• “I am here to help you in any way I can.”
• “You have my sincere sympathy.”
• “Friends here are with you at this time.”
• “My sympathy for your loss.”
• “You will be in my prayers at this time.”
• “My prayers are with you at this time.”
• "What can I do to help you at this time?"

Some helpful things to keep in mind:

• Be yourself
• Avoid clichés
• Don’t avoid a deceased victim’s name
• Never preach or proselytize
• Offer prayer if requested
• Be careful about giving advice
• Permit persons to share their stories and memories
• Share your emotions sincerely
• Encourage people to be connected to their loved ones

There are some things we may say when we feel uncomfortable, and want to say something comforting, but which may not really be very helpful to someone who has experienced a disaster. Some things to avoid saying include:

• “I know how you feel.”
• “Be happy for what you had”
• “Life is for the Living”
• “I almost feel worse than you”
• “They are in a better place.”
• “Life must go on…you’ll feel better before you know it”
• “You must be strong for your family”

Sometimes you may find yourself serving people from a culture different from your own. Here are some helpful things to keep in mind when working in a cross-cultural setting:

• Understand and avoid stereotypes
• Recognize that grief may look different in various cultures
• Demonstrate respect
• Recognize that it is difficult to express feelings in a second language
• Be open minded
• Ask sensitive questions about things you don’t understand
• Remember that each person is unique
• Let people choose their own interpreters. Never use a child as an interpreter.
• Be aware of issues of distrust that may arise from fears regarding immigration and governmental issues
• Educate yourself about other cultures 

Finally, remember that the work you do will be difficult and demanding. It is important to keep in mind that you will need to recieve pastoral and spiritual care as well, from your fellow volunteers, ministers, and even from survivors of the disaster who will be toiling alongside you, showing great courage and strength. Take the time to pray, to share your feelings with others, and to tell the stories of what has happened as a way to nurture your own spirit.